Was browsing through my previous blog entries...
Trying to dig up some memorable pieces to pin up on my side bar...
Saw these jokes that I put up...
I actually forgotten about them... =/
I actually forgotten about them... =/
1:
True story, I was happy.
My girlfriend and I had been dating for over a year, and so we decided to get married.
My parents helped us in every way, my friends encouraged me, and my girlfriend?
She was a dream!
There was only one thing bothering me, very much indeed, and that one thing was her younger sister.
My prospective sister-in-law was twenty years of age, wore tight mini skirts and low cut blouses.
She would regularly bend down when near me and I got many a pleasant view of her underwear.
It had to be deliberate.
She never did it when she was near anyone else.
One day little sister called and asked me to come over to check the wedding invitations.
She was alone when I arrived.
She whispered to me that soon I was to be married, and she had feelings and desires for me that she couldn't overcome and didn't really want to overcome.
She told me that she wanted to make love to me just once before I got married and committed my life to her sister.
I was in total shock and couldn't say a word.
She said, "I'm going upstairs to my bedroom, and if you want to go ahead with it just come up and get me."
I was stunned.I was frozen in shock as I watched her go up the stairs.
When she reached the top she pulled down her panties and threw them down the stairs at me.
I stood there for a moment, then turned and went straight to the front door.
I opened the door and stepped out of the house.
I walked straight towards my car.
My future father-in-law was standing outside.
With tears in his eyes he hugged me and said, "We are very happy that you have passed our little test.
We couldn't ask for a better man for our daughter.
Welcome to the family.
"The moral of this story is:"
"Always keep your condoms in your car."
2:
Martin wakes up at home with a huge hangover.
He forces himself to open his eyes, and the first thing he sees is a couple of aspirins and a glass of water on the side table.
He sits down and sees his clothing in front of him, all clean andpressed.
Martin looks around the room and sees that it is in perfect order, spotless, clean.
So is the rest of the house.
He takes the aspirins and notices a note on the table.
"Honey, breakfast is on the stove, I left early to go shopping.LoveYou!"
So he goes to the kitchen and sure enough there is a hot breakfast and the morning newspaper.
His son is also at the table, eating.
Martin asks: "Son, what happened last night?"
His son says: "Well, you came home around 3 am drunk and delirious.
Broke some furniture, puked in the hallway, and gave yourself a blackeye when you stumbled into the door."
Confused, Martin asks: "So,why is everything in order and so clean, and breakfast is on the table waiting for me?"
His son replies" "Oh, that! Mom dragged you to the bedroom, and when she tried to take your pants off, you said,
"LADY,LEAVE ME ALONE,I"M MARRIED."
(Guys you better memorise this till it becomes second nature.)
MORAL of the tale:
Self-induced hangover -- $100.00
Broken furniture -- $2,000.00
Breakfast -- $10.00
Saying The Right Thing While Drunk -- PRICELESS
3: (not a joke)
but Kit's msn nick years back:
True love has no happy ending, it lives forever...