Monday, October 04, 2004

Haiz... Feeling so... emotional today... I don't know what's happening... Argh... Keep thinking bout the past.
Haiz... I really miss the old times... *sniff* Woke up today hoping that my parents haven go out. And yup.. they haven... They were talking to my neighbour. After that, they went to nap so I came online... Bro sms me today from Aust, ask me to ask Dad to transfer the funds into his acct. Went to BP to withdraw the money and then, to CCK OCBC bank to deposit the funds. Ate lunch, went to Bro house to collect Da Sao's Kua... Went to Tanjong Pagar to return it.
Along the way, my feelings really complicated. Felt happy at times, then felt sad again... I really miss my siblings... *sobz* And ya... I cried a few times today... I don't know why... I keep thinking of the times when Bro and Sis where around... Went to Tanjong Pagar, remembered the time when I went with Sis for her wedding indoor shooting... The time when I ran to Ya Kun to get the couple some toast for lunch... Ah... That was 7 months back... *sniff* Eh! No... more than 7 months back... Anyway...
Thought about our old house at Jurong when I used to shout for MAMA for every little thing... How my Mum used to carry me off my bed to the toilet early in the morning cuz I couldn't wake up for school. I slept on my Mum's shoulder today on the way back home today. Feels so great... It's been a long time since we have been so close...
Tears rolled when my Mum said to my Dad "Xian zai, wo men san ge xiang yi wei ming." SigHz...
Really din feel like going for Tv today, I really wanted to spend my time with them. The thought of leaving both of them at home alone makes me sad loh. But I know I have to attend the rehearsals...
Didn't stay at Bro's house today cuz they already sleep le when i'm back. Mum wanted to wait for me to come back, spa then go one but I guess she was too tired... *sob*
Im really weak today... esp now... always feel so helpless, lonely and weak at this point of the day... When did I become like this? It's been 7 months since Sis move away... why am I so useless...
Reading back... Felt so childish... So spoilt... Cry for what... But... I just can't help it... I guess it's also hard for you guys to imagine what's so depressing right... SighZ... I rather you guys not experience it...